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April 16, 2005
RIP Rover
Sometimes you just can't bring yourself to put a favourite pet out of its misery. So it was with Rover. It had been the subject of endless blood tranfusions and a tracheotomy at the very end to help its breathing, but the major surgery that might have extended its life, albeit as an amputee, proved unacceptable to animal lovers of all political persuasions. Thus its life was preserved for nearly five years too long. The haemorrhaging continued, and parasites grew fat on its decrepit body.
Far from rising, Phoenix-like, from the ashes, it spread its miasma of decay around the region. Alchemy might have helped, but, in the end, there were no Byers. Now the parasites will quickly leave, seeking a new host. We must be vigilant for a while, for, should they find one they will grow fat once more. We should take comfort in the fact that they do not have long to live when removed from their host, but we should take no risks, they should be plucked off, and crushed. Now.
Pet lovers and owners everywhere will grieve, but we must ask ourselves the hard questions. Should Blair and Hewitt be allowed to have another pet? Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, and if Rover was too scared to play with the Jaguars and Cougars out there, he either needs training or replacing. Tranfusions and hospice care will never do the trick. If this lesson has not been learned then, I'm afraid, no more pets.
We now have a Welsh lib-dem manifesto. I was wrong, they didn't translate it. To be honest I can't bring myself to give you a picture this time.
We have a Prescott egger. No photos of the act this time, and no pugilistic skill demonstrated by John 'thumper' Prescott. But we do have a photo of the egger.
If you're interested in Prescott egging then this site may keep you happy for a while. Unfortunately it's not too up to date, but as a record of history in the making it remains valuable. Potential eggers should study the sequence below to understand the objectives of the game. We're eternally greatful to the Sun for making these images available.
Political betting Projected Election Outcome LAB majority 68 seats
Posted by Flo Ting Voe Tah at April 16, 2005 01:30 PM